What Does Comparison Do To A Marriage?

Insights:

You’ll Never Understand 

One issue that I see plaguing many couples is the mentality that one spouse has it better than the other. I hear things like: “It must be nice to be you,” “Your life is easy compared to mine,” “My job is harder than yours.” In reality, one or all of those might be true, but what good does this comparison game do for a marriage?

Truthfully, most wives will never fully understand what it is like to be a husband and most husbands will never understand what it is like to be a wife. We are different. We have different roles. We typically have different occupations as well as different roles within the home and there are things that are unique to each individual couple. As much as we can try to imagine what it’s like to be in the other’s shoes, we will never truly know what it’s like. 

Comparing to see whose life is harder is an ugly game with no real winners. If you find yourself in this trap, stop comparing and start supporting. Support each other in all you do. See each other's hardships and cheer each other on. Validate one another instead of trying to devalue each other. 

God doesn’t want you to prove you work harder or are better than your spouse. There is no fruit in that. He does want you to “Love one another deeply” and to “outdo one another in showing honor,” Romans 12:10. So instead of trying to outshine your spouse, start outdoing your spouse in love, service, and honor. 

Stop making those negative comments that tear down your spouse and what they do. Start supporting and valuing your spouse and what they do. Stop trying to elevate yourself and make it seem like you’ve got the harder job and start serving your spouse in what they are doing. 

You’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be your spouse but you can ask God to help you see your spouse as He sees them which is holy and loved. 

Next Steps For a Couple:

  • When are you vulnerable to comparing your life to that of your spouses? 

  • How can you, with God’s help, love your spouse deeply?

  • Ask God to daily help you see your spouse through His eyes!

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote: Arnold Palmer

Arnold Daniel Palmer was born on September 10, 1929 and was an American professional golfer who is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most charismatic players in the sport's history. In a career spanning more than six decades, Palmer won 62 PGA Tour titles from 1955 to 1973.

  • I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

  • Why hit a conservative shot? When you miss it, you are in just as much trouble as when you miss a bold one..

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • This is for all of the parents with young kids!  Between the ages of two and five, how many questions does a child ask, on average?

Did You Know?  

  • Blue whale tongues can weigh as much as an elephant. Their hearts, meanwhile, can weigh almost a ton and need to beat just once every ten seconds.

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather have the time to read 100 books every year or make 20 new friends?

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • A child between the ages of two and five will ask 40,000 questions.  See, you weren't crazy!

Kim KimberlingComment