What happens if you criticize and compare your spouse?

Insights:

Often our criticism of our spouse comes when we unfairly compare them to someone else. Anytime that we get into the comparison game, we are asking for trouble! The reality is that  God made your spouse unique. They are not going to be like other men and/or women you know. 

When we compare, we tend to forget that most people that we are comparing our spouse to are showing us their best side - their highlight reel. People get to choose what you see. But marriage is such an intimate relationship that we are up close and personal in the midst of our spouse’s sins and flaws. Just because you don’t see other people’s sin, mess and vulnerability, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

So our marriage, our life, and our spouse aren’t going to look like everyone else’s. So if your best friend’s husband fixes everything in the house, but your husband calls the handyman, that’s okay. If your neighbor’s wife throws great parties and your wife hates to host, that’s okay. 

Think about these two questions:

  • Where are you placing unfair expectations on your spouse? 

  • Where are you comparing your spouse to others in all the wrong ways? 

Now think about how your spouse is unique in a good way:

  • What is your spouse uniquely gifted at doing? 

  • What have you been missing while you were too busy seeing all their flaws? 

If you constantly criticize and compare their spouse to others, you slowly destroy your marriage. If you are at times being critical and compare their spouse to other people, you hurt your marriage. If you are never unnecessarily critical of your spouse and never compare them to other people, you build your marriage. Which one are you?

God wants us to embrace our spouse for who they are and to encourage them to be all He created them to be. 

Next Steps For You:

  • Honestly answer the questions above.

  • Pray for God to help you change your negative to positive.

  • Think of something your spouse does that you appreciate and tell them you are grateful.

2 Minute Clip

Comedian Jeff Allen and his wife, Tami, join me to talk about the opportunity you get when things aren’t going well in marriage. You can listen to their interview on the podcast.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote: Ray Charles

I have loved the music of Ray Charles for a long time. My all time favorite album of his  is “Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music.” Ray Charles Robinson Sr. was born on September 23, 1930. He was an American singer, songwriter and pianist. He is regarded as one of the most iconic and influential singers in history, and was often referred to by contemporaries as "The Genius."

  • There's nothing written in the Bible, Old or New Testament, that says, 'If you believe in Me, you ain't going to have no troubles.'

  • I suppose I've always done my share of crying, especially when there's no other way to contain my feelings. I know that men ain't supposed to cry, but I think that's wrong. Crying's always been a way for me to get things out which are buried deep, deep down. When I sing, I often cry. Crying is feeling, and feeling is being human. Oh yes, I cry.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • On November 27, 2004, Garry Turner achieved the world record for having the most clothespins clipped to his face at one time. How many clothespins were on his face?

Rapid Fire Did You Know?  

  • The majority of plant life is in the ocean.     

  • Ten percent of the world population is left-handed.

  •  Around eight percent of the world population has an extra rib.

  •  Spiders are not insects.

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather have the power to change one past event in your life or have the ability to see into your future?

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • 159 clothespins. Ouch!

Kim KimberlingComment