Curiosity Can Revive Your Marriage

Insights:

Curiosity Can Revive Your Marriage

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it can bring new life to your marriage. We often aren’t curious enough. We are quick to make statements and solidify our opinions of each other without asking why or giving credit to the fact that we may be missing something because we are lacking important information. 

One of my biggest roles as a counselor is asking questions. Good questions. Questions that get answers to the things that aren’t being said. Those unspoken things are often the beginning to the solution of my patients' problems. 

What if you became curious in your marriage, too? What if the next time you are upset about something your spouse does, you get curious and then look for how you two can work together to resolve the problem?

The next time you are fighting or upset with your spouse, I challenge you to ask a few questions, calmy, before you state how you feel. If your spouse snaps at you, instead of snapping back at them to be kind to you, ask if they are okay. Ask if anything is bothering them, ask them about their day. You may find answers that will soften your response to them and meet them at a time where they need you. 

Not only will being curious help solve conflict in your marriage, it will deepen and strengthen your relationship. Know your spouse deeply by being a student of your spouse, by being curious about your spouse. Ask questions, good questions, often and consistently. Ask them questions big and small. Remember to be curious about your spouse. 

P.S. I had a great conversation with Bob Goff on the podcast where he talked a lot about how curiosity keeps us growing and learning. See below for the link to that episode! 


Next Steps For You:

The next time you are upset with your spouse, get curious by asking them these questions:

  • Ask them if they are okay 

  • Ask them if anything is bothering them 

  • Ask them about their day. 

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:  Don Henley

Donald Hugh Henley was born on July 22, 1947 in Gilmer, Texas and was a founding member of the Eagles. As a solo artist, Henley has sold over 10 million albums worldwide, had eight top 40 singles, won two Grammy Awards and five MTV Video Music Awards. Combined with the Eagles and as a solo artist, Henley has released 25 top 40 singles on the Billboard Hot 100.

  • Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.

  • I have a certain pool of subject matter that I like to write about, things that interest me: politics, religion, ecology, and relationships between men and women. And that's usually what I focus on.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • What is the unlikely job that Pope Francis astoundingly used to work as?

Did You Know?  

  • It's impossible to hum while holding your nose. Normally, when you hum, the air is able to escape through your nose to create the sound, and of course, it can’t do that when you’re holding it shut. This is one of the weird facts you can test out for yourself.

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather spend a Saturday in the city shopping or sightseeing?

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • He worked as a bouncer at a nightclub.

Kim KimberlingComment