What Happens If We Stop Pursuing?

Insights:

What Happens If We Stop Pursuing?

As men, at the start of a new relationship, we pursue a woman with everything that we have.  We “wine and dine” her. We send flowers, we text her all day long, we bring her favorite coffee order to her every time we see her, and do whatever else we find out that she likes. She becomes our focus 24/7 until she says “yes.” 

Then, some time after the wedding an interesting thing happens. We stop pursuing. All that effort we put into “getting her” is now focused elsewhere. As men we are conquerors. Like hunters, we go after our prey until we “bag” it. Then we move on to something else. 

That entire process would be great if not for one thing. That was not God’s plan. Oh, the pursuit was His plan and getting her to say “yes” was His plan, but His plan was not for us to stop there. The wedding was not supposed to be a big red stop sign telling us that our pursuing days are over.  

From the couples I have counseled, I have learned that there is not one “stop pursuing” time that fits all. It may come with a new job, trying to better yourself in the job you have, or when the first child is born. That tendency to stop the pursuit seems to be in all of us. Guess what? It does not work. It never has and it never will.  

Let me say it this way. Whatever you did to get her to say “yes” is what you need to keep doing! Ladies, you don’t get off the hook here either: Whatever you did to get him to propose to you and marry you, keep it up!

So ask yourself, better yet ask your spouse: “What are 3 things I did while we were dating that you really loved?” Then make a plan to start doing those things again! 

What I have learned over the years is that you just don’t get marriage right one time and then coast the rest of your years together. That will never give you an Awesome Marriage, but continuing to pursue will!

Next Steps For You:

  • Ask your spouse: “What are 3 things I did while we were dating that you really loved?” Then make a plan to start doing those things again! 

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger was born on July 30, 1947 in Thal, Austria. He is an actor, businessman, filmmaker, politician, and retired professional bodybuilder best known for his roles in high-profile action movies. He served as the 38th governor of California from 2003 to 2011 and was among Time magazine's 100 most influential people in the world in 2004 and 2007.

  • Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life.

  • If it's hard to remember, it'll be difficult to forget.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • What do the two “M”s of M&Ms stand for?

Did You Know?  

  • Supermarket apples can be a year old. Those fresh apples aren’t all that fresh, per say. They’re usually picked between August and November, covered in wax, hot-air dried, and sent into cold storage. After six to 12 months, they finally land on your grocery store shelves.

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather speak your mind or keep the peace?

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • The names of the candy’s creators: Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie.

Kim KimberlingComment