5 Things You Can Control When Your Marriage Seems Out Of Control: #3 Speaking to the Potential in Your Spouse
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5 Things You Can Control When Your Marriage Seems Out Of Control: #3 Speaking to the Potential in Your Spouse
Sometimes we can feel lost, helpless, and bordering on hopeless in our marriages. Have you ever felt this way? Do you feel that way now? What can you do when you feel this way?
Most of us find things that we think we can control but eventually discover that does not work. There is only one person that you can control and that is the person looking back at you in the mirror. Until we accept that truth, nothing will change. So repeat this three times, “The only person you can control is you.” Now write it down and post it where you see it everyday.
This week let’s look at another thing you can control: Speaking to the potential in your spouse.
My primary love language is words of affirmation, so when Nancy encourages me and tells me I did a good job or I can do a good job it makes a huge difference for me.
I love writing and since the beginning of Awesome Marriage, I have written a lot. Up to 2014 everything I wrote was in the form of a blog or a post on social media. Then I wrote a couple of books that we self published. My dream was to have a book published with a major publisher. I sent ideas and some of my writing to publishers. Their response was always nice but it usually ended with “this book is just not a fit for us.”
Then God did some amazing things. I had a friend who was a literary agent who had an in with publishers and in a relatively short period of time, I received a contract for a book with Zondervan to write 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. I was ecstatic. I was assigned a team to support and help in the process. I received a check up front.
Everything was set. I blocked off two days a week to do nothing but write. On day one, I sat down at my desk and stared at a blank screen. All kinds of thoughts rolled through my head. What in the world am I doing? Can I really write a book? What will the editors think when I send them drafts? Will they want their money back?
I walked out of my office into the kitchen where Nancy was and sat down. I shared my thoughts and must have looked pretty downcast. Nancy came over and sat down beside me. She looked me in the eye and said, “You are believing lies. God has put you in this position because He wants you there. He will equip you for this. He is not going to let you down. You are a great writer. You are talented. This book will help so many couples.”
For me, it was an immediate 180. The woman who knows me far better than anyone else believed in me. Those words made all the difference in the world.
Do you speak into your spouse and the potential you see in them? Do you tell them that you know they can be an amazing parent and encourage them as they take those steps? Do you encourage them as they seek to be a better spouse?
Most of us don’t see how powerful our words are for our spouse. Your encouragement and words of affirmation can literally pull them from the gutter to the mountaintop. Speaking into your spouse is something you can control and the benefits will be amazing.
Next Steps For You:
Write out three things you can say to your spouse that will make a difference for them.
Now share your three things with them OR each share three things with each other.
2 Minute Drill
Dannah Gresh drops the mic hard in this 50-second clip from our conversation about the problem of pornography.
Quick Hits
This Week’s Quote: John F. Kennedy
John was born on May 29, 1917 in Brookline, Massachusetts. He was an American politician and served as the thirty-fifth President of the United States until his assassination in 1963.
Our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
This Week’s Trivia Question: History
Which mammal is known to have the most powerful bite in the world?
Did You Know?
The official bird of Redondo Beach, California, is the Goodyear Blimp. In 1983, the coastal city made the Goodyear Blimp their official city bird in anticipation of the 1984 summer Olympics.
Something To Talk About
Would you rather participate in a 200-person food fight or a 5-day-long water balloon fight?
Awesome Marriage This week
AM Podcast: Unpack the Baggage In Your Marriage: How To Let It Go | Ep. 558
AM YouTube Channel: 4 Ways To Grow Your Marriage This Summer
AM YouVersion Plan: We have surpassed 4 million Awesome Marriage YouVersion plan subscriptions. What an exciting milestone! It is an honor to help people connect to God through Scripture.
With almost 600,000 subscriptions, the #1 Awesome Marriage YouVersion plan is: Seven Secrets To An Awesome Marriage
This Week’s Trivia Answer:
Hippopotamus