5 Things You Can Control When Your Marriage Seems Out Of Control #1: Prayer
Insights:
5 Things You Can Control When Your Marriage Seems Out Of Control #1: Prayer
Sometimes in our marriages we can feel lost, helpless, and bordering on hopelessness. Have you ever felt this way? Do you feel that way now? What do you do when you feel this way?
Honestly, most of us begin to find things that we think we can control and eventually discover that does not work. There is only one thing that you can control and that is the person looking back at you in the mirror. That is “truth” and until we accept that truth, nothing will change. So repeat this three times, “The only person you can control is you.” Now write it down and post it where you see it everyday.
Over the next few Insights, let’s dive into 5 things that you can control.
#1 - PRAYER
There is only one person who is more concerned about you and your marriage than you and perhaps your spouse: God. The Creator of the universe is concerned about your marriage.
God has a plan for your marriage. He always has and that plan has not changed. He wants you to have an awesome marriage as much today as He did on your wedding day. Don’t forget who created marriage in the first place: God did. So go to Him in prayer. Lay all your frustrations before Him. It’s okay to tell Him your anger. He knows it anyway. Go in the confidence that He has every answer. Every single answer. His answers are not always easy but they are completely for our good. God will never do anything that is harmful to your marriage.
The marriage relationship is only second to our relationship with Him. One of my favorite prayers for my marriage is asking God to help me be the husband that Nancy needs me to be today. It centers me on me and God. My obedience is totally to God. No matter what Nancy does or does not do, I still have the responsibility to treat her the way God wants me to. For me, that is listening better, following James 1:19 which says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” That verse alone applied every day to our marriage would be a game changer for most of us. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Pray for your spouse. At Awesome Marriage, we have a pair of great resources called “15 Daily Prayers To Pray For Your Husband” and “15 Daily Prayers For Your Wife.” Let your spouse know that you are praying for them. Ask how you can pray for them.
What I want you to see is that when things in your marriage seem out of control we usually stop becoming a team as husband and wife. When that happens, we are operating out of our own agendas and building a healthy marriage gets lost in the confusion. Pray for your spouse. Ask God to help you see them through His eyes. Ask God to equip you to be the spouse that He wants you to be. Pray for God’s wisdom. Pray to be a team again or for the first time. Those are all things you can do. Things you can control.
If you follow AM, you hear me say this all the time. Prayer in your marriage, and especially praying together, is the number one difference maker in a marriage. It teaches us to come before God with all we cannot control and let it at His feet and give it to the only One who is always in control of everything. Prayer is the first thing you can control.
Next Steps For You:
Is jealousy an issue in your marriage?
If you answered yes, seek to find the root cause. Ask God to reveal it to you.
Focus on the positive and on your part in building trust.
2 Minute Drill
Mark Batterson and I talk about controlling your inputs in marriage.
Quick Hits
This Week’s Quote: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
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I found that with depression, one of the most important things you could realize is that you're not alone.
I like to use the hard times in the past to motivate me today.
This Week’s Trivia Question: History
In what chain of Canadian coffee shops can you find “Timbits?”
Did You Know?
The longest place name in the world is 85 letters long.
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu is in New Zealand.
Something To Talk About
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Awesome Marriage This week
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This Week’s Trivia Answer:
Tim Hortons