It’s Not “Forgive if You Feel Like It…”
Insights:
Forgiveness is an interesting concept. We want others to be quick to forgive us but sometimes we can drag our feet in forgiving them. Yet, God is very clear that we are to forgive others. It’s not “if you feel like forgiving, then do it;” it is “forgive as you have been forgiven.”
Forgiving your spouse can be a difficult and emotional process, but it is an essential step towards healing and moving forward in your marriage. Here are five things you can do that will help in the process.
Acknowledge your feelings: Recognize and acknowledge your feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. It's okay to feel these emotions, and it's important to give yourself time to process them. Don’t forget God gave us ALL of our emotions and they are a sign of what is really going on inside of us and a red flag that there is something we need to do.
Communicate with your spouse: Open and honest communication is essential in rebuilding trust and forgiveness. Talk to your spouse about how you feel and why you were hurt. Listen to their perspective as well and try to understand where they are coming from. Pray for God’s guidance and wisdom as you do this.
Take responsibility for your part: In any conflict or disagreement, both parties usually have some responsibility. Take ownership of your part in the situation and acknowledge any mistakes you may have made. This may be difficult but an important piece of the process.
Set boundaries: If your spouse's actions have caused you pain or hurt, it's important to establish boundaries to protect yourself. Discuss with your spouse what behaviors are unacceptable, and what you need from them to feel safe and secure in the relationship. If you get stuck here, see a Christian counselor.
Work on rebuilding trust: Forgiveness is a process that takes time, but rebuilding trust is essential in moving forward. Make a plan with your spouse on how you will work towards rebuilding trust, and follow through on your commitments. Full transparency is essential. Be patient, understanding, and compassionate with each other along the way.
Next Steps For You:
Is there something you are struggling to forgive in your marriage? If so, write it down.
Pray for God to help you see the importance of forgiving.
Go through the five steps above.
2 Minute Drill
Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about vulnerability in marriage.
Quick Hits:
This Week’s Quote: Leonardo da Vinci
Leonardo was born on April 15, 1452 in Anchiano, Italy. He was born out of wedlock to a successful notary and a lower-class woman in, or near, Vinci. He was educated in Florence by the Italian painter and sculptor Andrea del Verrocchio. Leonardo is identified as one of the greatest painters in the history of art.
"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."
"Common sense is that which judges the things given to it by other senses."
This Week’s Trivia Question:
Which Ancient Greek writer was famous for his fables?
This Week’s “Did You Know?”
In 2008, a man in Japan bought a nearly black Densuke watermelon for $6,125. (Which was a specialty fruit grown on the island of Hokkaido.)
Something To Talk About
Would you rather get a glimpse of the future or forget something from your past?
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This Week’s Trivia Answer:
Aesop