Thanksgiving: A Time to Cherish Your Marriage

Insights:

Thanksgiving: A Time to Cherish Your Marriage

Happy Thanksgiving! Nancy and I have always seen Thanksgiving as a great opportunity to slow down from our busy lives for a day to be with family, enjoy great food and to count the blessings of our marriage.  

Here are some thoughts for you to consider today:

Gratitude 

Gratitude really is an integral part of an Awesome Marriage. We live in this world that focuses on so much of what is wrong that it is easy to forget to focus on what is right. Today take a moment to share with your spouse what you are thankful for about them. Maybe it is how they love you well, or encourage you, or the way they laugh at your jokes that really are not that funny.

Building Traditions Together

Traditions are the roadmap for our shared experiences. They are the memories we look back on and the stories we pass down. This Thanksgiving, why not start a new tradition with your spouse? It could be as simple as writing down what you are each thankful for and finding an undistracted time to share that with each other.

Forgiveness

Every marriage has its share of hurts and disappointments. Yet, holding onto them only weighs us down. Offer forgiveness to each other and ask for it in return. There is no better season for a fresh start than one dedicated to giving thanks.

So this Thanksgiving, let's renew our commitment to our marriage. Let’s begin cherishing each day as a gift. Let’s let our love for each other reflect the gratitude we feel. 

As we enter into the heart of the Thanksgiving season, it's a wonderful opportunity for you to take a step back from the hurried pace of life and reflect on the abundant blessings within your marriage. Thanksgiving isn't just a single day on the calendar, it’s a mindset we can choose to embrace day after day.

Next Steps:

  • Take time to share gratitude and to build a tradition and to forgive.

  • How will you carry the mindset of Thanksgiving into tomorrow and all the following days?

2 Minute Clip

In my recent interview with Brittany Braswell, we discussed the crisis of body image in our culture. Brittany is a Registered Dietician, Christian speaker and host of the Joy-Filled Eater Podcast.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:   James A. Garfield

James A. Garfield was born on November 19, 1831 in a log cabin in what was then known as Orange Township, Ohio. He was a compromise candidate for President chosen by the Republican Party, and only served nine months before being shot by Charles Guiteau. Garfield did not die of the wound but from an infection caused by his doctor’s unsanitary methods.

  • If wrinkles must be written on our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.

  • Next in importance to freedom and justice is popular education, without which neither freedom nor justice can be permanently maintained.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  •  A dog sweats through which part of its body?

Did You Know?  

  • The voice actors for Mickey and Minnie Mouse were married in real life. Wayne Allwine, the man who voiced Mickey, fell in love with and married Russi Taylor, the woman who provided the voice for Minnie. "We just started hanging out as pals, and the next thing you know, we were an item."

Something To Talk About Together:

  • What movie scene never fails to make you laugh out loud?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • A dog sweats through its paws!

Kim KimberlingComment
Dealing with Mass Distraction

Insights:

Dealing with Mass Distraction

Last week I was listening to an interview and one of the participants used the term “mass distraction.” The distractions in our lives continue to grow and vie for our focus. We all have to deal with distractions in our lives, but I had never heard them described like that: Mass distraction. 

The online Merriam Webster Dictionary defines distraction as “something that distracts; an object that directs one's attention away from something else.” Think about it - “something.”  When distraction was only “something” (just one thing), life was a lot simpler. Today, if I only had to deal with one distraction a day, I would be ecstatic. Yet, that is not my reality and it is not yours. 

That same dictionary defines “mass” this way, “a large quantity, amount, or number.” So, since Merriam Webster has not yet seen fit to add the term to the dictionary, putting the two words together gives me my definition: “mass distraction is more distractions than we can count.”

We are bombarded by social media and technology that give us constant notifications that distract us from what we are doing. Celebrities, sports, and entertainment can all be distractions. The news media distracts us by sensationalizing almost every story and then there are the constant distractions that come from the political world. 

On their own, there is usually nothing wrong with most of these distractions… UNTIL they distract us from the best things in our lives.The problem comes when these distractions take us away from what benefits us and our lives the most. When I don’t have time for my marriage, my adult children, my grandchildren, and God, the distractions have won and that is a huge red flag!

So what do we do? Take control. Unplug, turn off, and/or choose wisely. 

This year I began putting the things I do not want to be distracted from on my calendar every week. These are my priorities. They are the essentials to the life I want to live. God is there.  Nancy is there. My family is there. The activities that I enjoy are there. Does it work? Yes, because I don’t move them off of or rearrange them on my calendar. Plus, I have been much more consistent about unplugging on Sunday and at other times during the week. 

If I did not do something, mass distractions would take over my life and I decided that is not something I am going to let happen.

What distractions in your life are keeping you from the life God designed for you? What are you going to do to keep your first things first?

Next Steps:

  • Make a list of the distractions in your life. This will help you identify them. 

  • What are the essentials in your life? 

  • Rework your weekly calendar to make sure your essentials are there first.

  • Look for opportunities to unplug each week.

2 Minute Clip

Dr. Kim with Dan and Suzanne Manning “Teaching Our Kids to Protect Themselves”

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:   Charles Schulz

The creator of arguably the most popular comic strip of all time was born on November 22, 1922. At its height, Peanuts was published daily in 2,600 papers in 75 countries, in 21 languages. Over nearly 50 years, Schulz drew 17,897 published Peanuts strips.

  • There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

  • Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • What unassuming barnyard animal has the closest genetic resemblance to the long-extinct Tyrannosaurus rex?

Did You Know?  

  • Simply holding your spouse tight can boost your immune system. For one 2014 study that was published in the journal Psychological Science, participants were exposed to a common cold virus and were monitored in quarantine to assess signs of the illness. Those participants who were hugged more often and felt socially supported experienced less severe signs of the illness.

Something To Talk About Together:

  • If time travel existed, when and where would you like to visit first?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • The Chicken

Kim KimberlingComment
I see a lot of couples who DON’T want to divorce.

Insights:

Here’s What I Think God WILL & WON’T Ask About Your Marriage When You Get To Heaven

As a Christian counselor, I see a lot of couples who don’t want to get a divorce. They are having trouble in their marriage, so they come to me for counseling.

It’s a great thing to want to obey God and His plan for marriage. It’s a great thing to want to please God and honor Him. It’s a great thing to not want a divorce. 

But there is one huge problem with most couples’ thinking: Their main goal is ALL WRONG. 

Here’s what I DON’T think God is going to ask you at the end of your life:  

“Did you get divorced?”

Here’s what I DO think God will ask you at the end of your life: 

“How did you love, serve, and honor your spouse?” 

“What did you do with the responsibility I gave you as a husband or wife?” 

“How did you treat my son or daughter whom I gave to you in marriage?” 

You see, I don’t think God wants you to just not get divorced. He wants you to love and serve your spouse. He wants you to have an awesome marriage by laying yourself down consistently for your spouse. He wants you to put their needs before your own. He wants you to show them selflessness. He wants you to love your spouse. 

So here is my challenge to you: Dive deeper than the goal of no divorce, make the goal to have a God-honoring marriage. 

Next Steps:

  • Create A Wish List:

  • At the end of your life, what are you going to wish you had done for your spouse?

  • How are you going to wish you had treated them? 

  • What things are you going to wish you had said to them? 

  • Stop trying to avoid divorce and start trying to have an awesome marriage by loving your spouse well.

2 Minute Clip

Dr. Juli Slattery and I discussed some of the tensions Christian couples face in their married sex lives.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:   Art Garfunkel

Art Garfunkel was born on November 5, 1941 in Forest Hills, Queens, New York City. He is a singer and actor best known for the folk-rock duo Simon and Garfunkel, with Paul Simon. They were originally known as Tom and Jerry. Although Paul and Art parted ways in 1970, they have united a number of times with the last being a free concert at the Colosseum in Rome, which drew 600,000 fans.

  • It was a weird stage of my life, to leave Simon & Garfunkel at the height of our success and become a math teacher. I would talk them through a math problem and ask if anyone had any questions, and they would say, 'What were the Beatles like?'

  • It's a great gift in my throat. When you have a gift, you think about the giver. Who gave this to me? And this takes you to a spiritual sense of God. That has captivated me all through my life, serving that lucky gift.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • Which United States superstar athlete said “I’ve never lost a game I just ran out of time”?

Did You Know?  

  • In 1905, an 11-year-old boy named Frank Epperson left soda powder and water outside overnight with its wooden stirrer still in the cup. The mixture had frozen in the chilly night time weather, and so the Epsicle was born. He sold the treat around his neighborhood and a nearby amusement park and even patented the recipe. Years later, he changed the name to Popsicle because that’s what his kids called their pop’s concoction.

Something To Talk About Together:

  • What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard? I think this one tops my list: “Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work, but I feel like I should take you out.”

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  •   Michael Jordan

Kim KimberlingComment