Insights:

One of our main themes at Awesome Marriage is being a “team” in your marriage. It is something that every couple wants but we often do not know how to make that happen. Here are three things you can begin doing as a couple to build your “team.”

Communication: I know we talk about communication a lot but it is still a major problem for many couples, plus it is impossible to build a “Team” without it. Effective communication is crucial for a married couple to function as a team. Couples must learn to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully, expressing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or retribution. Regular communication can help you to understand each other's needs, expectations, and perspectives, leading to a deeper connection and more effective problem-solving.

Shared Goals: Setting and working towards shared goals is an excellent way for married couples to become a team. Whether it's a financial goal, career goal, or personal goal, working together toward a common goal can help a couple to stay focused, motivated, and supportive of each other. It is essential to take the time to identify and prioritize shared goals, breaking them down into manageable steps that can be achieved together.

Mutual Support: Marriage requires mutual support, and it is crucial for couples to be there for each other during both the good and the bad times. Supporting each other emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually helps to build a strong foundation for a healthy and fulfilling marriage. Being present for each other and offering encouragement, reassurance, and validation can help to strengthen the bond between spouses and promote a sense of unity and teamwork.

How do you rate your marriage as far as being a “team?” Wherever you are in the process, commit together to stay focused and accountable as you work together to build a team and an awesome marriage.

Things For You To Think About:

• When you listen well to each other, seeking to really understand what the other is saying, your communication will improve. Commit to take the time to listen well to each other.

• If you do not have any shared goals, spend time creating some and then make a plan to carry them out.

• Evaluate how well you support each other emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Begin to be more intentional with each other in each of these areas.

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2 Minute Drill

I loved interviewing Levi and Jenni Lusko recently. In this interview clip, they share several Biblical reasons for sex in marriage, as well as why they may not happen in a marriage.

Quick Hits:

This Week’s Quote:  Charlie Chaplin

Charles Spencer Chaplin, Jr. was born on 16 April 1889 and was an English comic actor, filmmaker, and composer who rose to fame in the era of silent film. His portrayal of The Tramp is considered one of the film industry's most important figures. His career spanned more than 75 years.

• Let us strive for the impossible. The great achievements throughout history have been the conquest of what seemed the impossible.

• Simplicity is a difficult thing to achieve.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

Disney: Of all the Disney characters, who was Walt Disney’s favorite?

This Week’s “Did You Know?”

152 people in the U.S. are named LOL as their legit birth name. Most of the LOLs live in Wyoming.

Something To Talk About

Would you rather be able to take back anything you say or listen in on every conversation that’s about you?

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Awesome Marriage This week

AM Podcast: Boundaries & Marriage: What NOT to Do | Ep. 550

AM YouTube Channel: Before You Give Up On Working Toward an Awesome Marriage - Watch This!

AM YouVersion Plan: As we close in on 4 million Awesome Marriage YouVersion Plan subscriptions, we will highlight the Top 10 all time plans beginning this number 10.

Number 8: Stop The Fighting - Part 1: Breaking The Cycles Of Unhealthy Conflict

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This Week’s Trivia Answer:

• Goofy

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Insights:

Not that many years ago, being transparent in marriage was not the issue it is today. Certainly transparency was important in certain areas of counseling, such as when trust was broken by infidelity. The process of rebuilding trust took transparency. 

In the past few years, since the advent of social media, the importance of transparency between a husband and a wife is not just an option but a necessity. Transparency is an essential part of a healthy and successful marriage. Here are some guidelines to help you grow in this area. 

• Open communication: Communication is key to building transparency in any marriage. It is important to openly discuss your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with your spouse, as well as to listen actively to their perspective.

• Share information: Share information about your daily activities, such as work schedules, social plans, and personal goals. This can help create a sense of shared experience and understanding. It is another way of connecting.

• Financial transparency: Financial transparency is crucial in a marriage. Make sure you are both open about your income, expenses, and debts, and that you create a joint budget together.

• Respect privacy: While transparency is important, it is also important to respect each other's privacy in the areas of personal space, keeping confidential information confidential, and giving each other the freedom to pursue individual interests. 

This does not include social media, texts and emails. As a marriage counselor I believe having access to each other's passwords, mobile devices, and computers is essential. The difference in the trust level of couples who give each other access to everything as opposed to those who lock their spouse out of everything is monumental.  Couples who are open have more security in their marriage and with each other. If you are not currently sharing everything with each other, consider beginning that today. 

• Seek outside help if needed: If you and your spouse are struggling to establish transparency in any of the above areas, seek outside help from a Christian counselor who can provide guidance and support.

Remember, transparency is a two-way street. It requires honesty, openness, and mutual trust between a couple to create a strong and healthy marriage.

Things For You To Think About:

• Rate the transparency in your marriage today on a 1 to 10 scale, with 10 being totally transparent. 

• Between the areas of communication, sharing information, finances, and privacy, which one needs the most work?

• If you struggle with transparency with each other, I encourage you to see a Christian counselor. If you continue to ignore the issue, it will continue to chip away at your marriage.

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2 Minute Drill

Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about keeping the spark in marriage.

Quick Hits:

This Week’s Quote:  Diana Ross

American singer and actress Diana Ross was born March 26, 1944 in Detroit. She rose to fame as the lead singer of the vocal group The Supremes, who became Motown's most successful act during the 1960s and one of the world's best-selling girl groups of all time. 

• Learning to let go and let God has been a tremendous lesson for me.

• Instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

Sports: What NFL player returned a fumble 66 yards - to the wrong end zone?

This Week’s “Did You Know?”

Extreme ironing is an actual sport that was founded in 1997 and has been challenging competitors to press shirts in unexpected locations—like high up in trees, hanging over cliffs, or paddling white-water rapids—for more than two decades.

Something To Talk About

Would you rather be able to turn invisible or be able to fly?

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Awesome Marriage This week

AM Podcast:LearningTo Disagree Without Defensiveness With Mike Donehey | Ep. 549

AM YouTube Channel: Dr. Kim Answers Viewer Questions: Infidelity, Interruptions & Encouragement

AM YouVersion Plan: As we close in on 4 million Awesome Marriage YouVersion Plan subscriptions, we will highlight the Top 10 all time plans beginning this week with Number 10!

Number 9: Growing Your Marriage - Parts 1 and 2

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This Week’s Trivia Answer:

• Jim Marshall. 

Toward the end of a midseason game against the 49ers in 1964, Vikings defensive end Jim Marshall scooped up a Niners fumble and raced toward the end zone nearly 70 yards away--the wrong end zone. With both teams chasing him down the field, and his own teammates screaming from the sidelines, Marshall ran into the end zone untouched and tossed the ball out of bounds, resulting in a safety for San Francisco--and heaps of scrutiny from the media.

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Insights:

One of the sessions in our new Awesome Marriage “Achieving Awesome Sex In Marriage” online course is titled, “How To Talk About Sex.” This week I want to help you get started talking about sex with your spouse. 

Let's begin with this question: When was the last time you and your spouse had a positive conversation about your sex life? If you are like most couples, you (1)  have never had a positive conversation about sex or (2) cannot remember the last time you had that conversation. It seems that most couples' conversations about sex don’t go well and either end in an argument or frustration. Sex is one of the really special gifts that we have in marriage. Learning to talk about sex together in a way that strengthens and enhances your sex life in your marriage is one of the best things that you can do for your marriage.

So where do you start? There are 3 main things you need to discuss as a couple when it comes to sex. 

First, frequency or quantity of sex. Most couples seem to bog down here. Getting on the same page with frequency is essential. It removes one of the biggest hurdles couples face when seeking a healthy sex life. We have to talk about frequency. Remember this is your frequency during the current season you are in as a couple. 

Second, What do you like and not like when it comes to sex? If you were to make a checklist of what goes into quality sex for you, what would be on your list? In marriage, we need to know these things about our spouse. We need to talk about them. It helps  us focus on what works and stay away from what does not work.

Finally, what gets in the way of having the sexual relationship you both want? What are the hurdles you need to face, deal with, and overcome together? These hurdles need to be talked about so you can develop a game plan together to deal with them.

Those three topics will get you talking with each other about your sex life. This is a marriage-long conversation. As we go through seasons in marriage, things may change. For Nancy and me, our first big adjustment came when our first child was born. We had to talk about what our sex life would look like. We had five years with just the two of us. Now with a baby, there were changes. They were not bad, we just needed to make sure our sex life didn't go on the back burner for a season. Being intentional with our sex life makes a difference. So begin the conversation about frequency, what you like and not like, and what is getting in the way of a fulfilling sex life for both of you in your marriage.

The new Awesome Marriage “Achieving Awesome Sex In Marriage” course is out. It is designed to help you enjoy the gift of sex in your marriage and deal with the issues that many couples face. I invite you to join me, Nancy, and our good friend and sex expert J. Parker as we help you take your sex life from where it is today to Awesome. Discount code for the course: SEXLAUNCH is only available through the end of the month!

Things For You To Think About:

• In this season of your marriage, what is the frequency that works for both of you/ Be willing to compromise. Focus on quality over quantity.

• Is there anything that you would like to change in your sex life together?

• What gets in the way of your sex life? What can the two of you do together to resolve this?

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2 Minute Drill

Dr. Kim and Mark Batterson talk about being really honest with God.

Quick Hits:

This Week’s Quote:  James Taylor

James was born on March 12, 1948 in Boston. He is a six-time Grammy Award winner and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000. James is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, having sold more than 100 million records worldwide.

• If you're an addict, it controls your life and your life becomes uncontrollable. It's boring and painful, filling your system with something that makes you stare at your shoes for six hours. I was a functional addict.

• I collect hats. That's what you do when you're bald.

This Week’s Trivia Question:

Music: Who was the very first American Idol winner?

This Week’s “Did You Know?”

A typical cough is 60 mph while a sneeze is often faster than 100 mph.

Something To Talk About

As an athlete, would you rather be the star player on a poorly performing team or the worst player on a champion team?

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Awesome Marriage This week

AM Podcast: How to Set Marriage Boundaries | Ep. 548

AM YouTube Channel: "How You Can Weather the Storms in Marriage Together”

AM YouVersion Plan: As we close in on 4 million Awesome Marriage YouVersion Plan subscriptions, we will highlight the Top 10 all time plans beginning this week with Number 10!

Number 10: “I Am a Warrior Part 1 and Part 2”

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This Week’s Trivia Answer:

• Kelly Clarkson

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