Is “Divorce” Part of Your Vocabulary?
This Week’s Quick Hits:
This Week’s Quote:
Colonel Harland David Sanders was born on September 9, 1890 and died December 16, 1980. He is best known for founding Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) and later acting as the company's brand ambassador and symbol. His name and image are still symbols of the company. Sanders held a number of jobs in his early life, such as steam engine stoker, insurance salesman, and filling station operator. He began selling fried chicken from his roadside restaurant in North Corbin, Kentucky, during the Great Depression. During that time, Sanders developed his "secret recipe" and his patented method of cooking chicken in a pressure fryer. Here are a few of the Colonel’s words of wisdom!
I was 66 years old. I still had to make a living. I looked at my social security check of 105 dollars and decided to use that to try to franchise my chicken recipe. Folks had always liked my chicken.
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there.
The hard way builds solidly a foundation of confidence that cannot be swept away.
There's something inside of me that makes me want to help people, especially people who are having difficulty of some kind.
Don’t be against things so much as for things.
In honor of the Colonel’s birthday this month, let’s do a little chicken trivia!
How many herbs and spices are used in Kentucky Fried Chicken?
In Georgia, it is illegal to do what with a fork?
How fast can a chicken run?
What chicken part is the snack of choice for Chinese movie goers?
What do chickens do during a total eclipse?
Bonus Question:
Fried Chicken Strawberry Shortcake is a traditional Christmas Eve meal where?
“What Happens When We Are Not Emotionally Healthy?”
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Dr. Kim’s Insights:
In the early years of our marriage, we threw the word “divorce” around a lot. We would be in an argument and as it escalated the word “divorce” would come out of one of our mouths. We said things like,”If you don’t like it, just get a divorce,” or “I give up, I want a divorce.” At the time the words were said, it almost always ended the fight. It was like knocking the breath out of us.
If I said the word, I was immediately afraid that this time Nancy would take me seriously. If Nancy said the word, I knew I had pushed way too far. So we would go to our separate corners, not speak to each other for a day or two, and finally work our way back to each other. We resumed married life but each time it put another wound in our marriage. We never talked through what we were fighting about. Sometimes we could not remember what we were fighting about.
This cycle continued for four or five years. Finally, Nancy was serious. It had taken too big a toll on her. Honestly, I never thought she would get to that point but she did. I was devastated. Why had I let this go on for so long? Was it really too late?
In one last almost desperate action, Nancy talked to an older lady in our church that we both respected a lot. In short, she listened to Nancy and finally said, “God does not want you to get a divorce. He wants to make something beautiful out of your marriage.” Now Nancy was listening to her. Nancy came home and we talked in a way we never had before. We decided to take the word “divorce” off the table and to leave it off. That was the beginning of the sixth year of our marriage. Neither of us used that word again.
Now, it wasn’t like everything all of a sudden got better. There was work to do. There were wounds that needed to heal. Trust had to be rebuilt. Now we were forced to work through things. We had to learn how to communicate and how to handle conflict. Our go-to bailout was gone.
What about you? Is the word “divorce” still a part of your vocabulary? If it is, it is stunting the growth of your marriage. It is keeping you from being all in and not being all in will never give you an Awesome Marriage. Here is my challenge to you: Take the word “divorce” out of your marriage and start working on the things you have been avoiding. It may mean a mentor couple of a Christian counselor. Do whatever it takes!
Forty-five years ago, we took the word “divorce” off the table and God truly has built something beautiful. He can and He will do that for you!
Next Steps:
Together remove the word “divorce” from your marriage.
Take the first step towards healing and building your Awesome Marriage.
Chicken Trivia Answers:
Eleven
Eat chicken
Nine miles per hour
Chicken feet
Sleep
Bonus Chicken Question: Japan