Expectations are Everything
This Week’s Quick Hits:
This Week’s Quote:
Many people agree that Vince Lombardi is the greatest American Football coach of all time. He is best known as the head coach of the Green Bay Packers during the 1960s, where he led the team to three straight and five total NFL Championships in seven years, in addition to winning the first two Super Bowls at the conclusion of the 1966 and 1967 NFL seasons. He never had a losing season as head coach in the NFL. The year after his sudden death from cancer in 1970, he was enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and the NFL Super Bowl trophy was named in his honor.
There are many great quotes by Coach Lombardi but this is my all time favorite.
The Winner is always part of the answer.
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Winner always has a program.
The Loser always has an excuse.
The Winner says, "Let me do it for you."
The Loser says, "That's not my job."
The Winner sees an answer for every problem.
The Loser sees a problem for every answer.
The Winner sees a green near every sand trap
The Loser sees two or three sand traps near every green.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible."
The Loser says, "It might be possible but it's too difficult."
Be a Winner.
As a new NFL season is upon us, here are five NFL trivia questions:
Overtime rules are being modified all the time. What is the lowest-scoring NFL game ever?
Who was the first player to score 2000 points in a career?
Which vintage player is known as the first superstar of the NFL?
What was the original name of the franchise now known as the Washington Commanders?
Which of these teams did not exist? Akron Burkhardts, Evanston North Ends, Youngstown Patricians, Cincinnati Fryers
Bonus NFL Question:
New York City has had a few NFL teams over the years, one of which was based on Staten Island. What was the nickname of this team?
Did You Know?:
Did you know it would cost $18.3 million to make a replica Darth Vader suit?
According to Time, it would cost the average person $18.3 million to make a real-life replica of the infamous black suit that features a voice modifier, breathing apparatus, prosthetic limbs, and an augmented reality filter.
Awesome Marriage This Week:
AM Podcast: Special Guest Matt Hammit
Matt Hammit was the lead singer of the Grammy and Dove-award winning band Sanctus Real for 20 years, and he has a new book out called “Lead Me: Finding Courage to Fight For Your Marriage, Children and Faith.” Join me for the fascinating interview!
AM YouTube Channel: Sex in Marriage Series: Episode 1
We all want great sex in our marriages. This begins a six week series on that topic with a new episode dropping every week. In this episode, I share some of the things Nancy and I have learned over the years of our marriage.
AM YouVersion Plan: Hope for the Postpartum Mom
As many as one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression and it generally lasts from three to six months. Amanda Taylor is one of them. In this 5-part plan, Amanda shares her story and offers hope for every woman that finds herself in this situation.
AM One Thing: If you have not subscribed to my free One Thing email, I invite you to do that today. Each day Monday through Friday I send you One Thing you can do to improve your marriage. Here is the signup link and below is today’s One Thing!
One Thing 9/1/22
I like to plan for the future, and I also enjoy being spontaneous. That may sound confusing, but it usually works for me. I make plans based on where I would like my life to be in a year or two—and those plans include Awesome Marriage. Yet, I also want to leave room in those plans for spontaneity to make sure I don’t miss something that would be good for me or for Awesome Marriage. Let’s take this idea into your marriage, where some problems might arise without proper planning or because of rigid planning. If Nancy and I don’t plan for the future in our marriage, we might just stay stuck where we are. Improvement in our communication, sex life, and finances probably won’t happen without some planning. So there are areas of our marriage that certainly require purposeful planning. But we also want to give ourselves enough flexibility in our planning so we can make spontaneous decisions and take advantage of unforeseen opportunities that God gives us. What we have found is that if we are diligent about planning for the future, we also have the flexibility to be spontaneous. We just build spontaneity into our plans!
Today’s One Thing: Take time with your spouse to begin planning where you want your marriage to be this time next year!
Dr. Kim’s Insights:
As I counsel couples and watch the marriage culture where I live, I have lots of questions. Why are there some couples with awesome marriages while others have train wreck marriages? Did all of the people in train wreck marriages marry the wrong person? Did they just get tired of each other? When their marriage did not meet their expectations, did they begin looking for someone or something else that would?
Let’s land on expectations for a minute. We all have expectations. Some of our marriage expectations are realistic. Others are not. It seems that just because an expectation is unrealistic does not always prevent someone from pursuing it. When I counsel couples, we talk a lot about expectations. Often, I will have both of them write down all the expectations they have for their spouse. Then we go through their lists and the couple decides which expectations are realistic and which are not. We then cross off the unrealistic ones and talk about how to handle the ones that are realistic. That process works almost every time and when it does the couple has taken a huge step forward in growing their marriage.
The problem is that very few couples go to counseling. They never have anyone other than their spouse tell them that their expectations are unrealistic and usually by this point in their marriage they don’t listen at all. For example, the husband wants to have sex more often than his wife and also wants her to do things sexually with him that she is not comfortable with. Instead of listening to her, being sensitive to her, and trying to find something that works for both of them, he assumes his expectations are realistic. So he looks elsewhere for someone that will meet his expectations.
Think about this. Where did your views of marriage come from? As we grow up we are exposed to a number of marriage models. Our first model is our family of origin. Think about your family of origin. How did your parents treat each other? Did they have a good relationship with each other? Did you see them value each other and serve each other? Next, outside of our family of origin, we are bombarded with all kinds of marriage models. Very few movies or TV shows portray healthy marriages. Why? Because it does not sell. It’s the crazy mixed up marriages that people pay to see. Do you think we can not be affected by this? I don’t think so. Hey, I am a Christian marriage counselor and sometimes I have to work to separate the healthy from the unhealthy. The unhealthy is often made to be very appealing.
Taking time to think through the expectations you have of your spouse and your marriage is a great exercise to think through. Make your list. Prayerfully go over it. Ask God to help you eliminate the unrealistic expectations on your list. Ideally, your spouse will go through the same exercise and then you can come together with your lists and talk through your expectations. Having realistic expectations in your marriage can be a game changer!
Next Steps:
Make your list of the expectations you have of your spouse and marriage.
Prayerfully, go through your list eliminating the unfair and unrealistic expectations on it.
Ask your spouse to do the same thing.
Come together and share your lists and set good, realistic, expectations for each other and your marriage.
Trivia Answers:
0-0
Currently, NFL overtime rules state that games have a 10-minute overtime period, during which both teams have the opportunity to possess the ball. If the game is still tied at the end of the period, the game officially ends as a tie.
George Blanda
Although George Blanda was an accomplished quarterback who played for the Chicago Bears and the Oakland Raiders, he never actually won a Super Bowl. He retired just before the Raiders won the Super Bowl.
Red Grange
He was also known by the nicknames “The Galloping Ghost” and “Wheaton Iceman.”
Boston Braves
The club played as the Boston Braves from 1932 to 1937 when they relocated to the nation’s capital.
Cincinnati Friars
The early Cincinnati team was known as the Celts.
Bonus NFL Question Answer:
Stapletons
The Stapletons played in the NFL from 1929 until 1932, their home stadium being Thompson's Stadium in Stapleton. Their best season was in 1930 when they finished 5-5-2. Hall of Fame halfback Ken Strong began his pro career with the Stapletons before joining the New York Giants in 1933.
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