2 Ways To Stay Close Through Every Phase

Insights:

2 Ways To Stay Close Through Every Phase

Is it possible for a couple to stay connected over a lifetime together? Every couple goes through a series of phases in their marriage. It’s important for a husband and wife to navigate each of these phases with the goal of ending up together in the later years of their life in a marriage they truly value and cherish.

When I think about our first few years of marriage, life was simple. I was working, and Nancy was going to school and working. Sure, we had our struggles, but we were getting to know each other at a deeper level. We had few distractions from our marriage. That was phase one for us—those early years of marriage without kids.

Phase two started when the kids came, and they were an incredible blessing. Our marriage grew during that time, but it was different than before. There were now four of us, and the kids took a lot of time and energy. We had to be very intentional about our time together as husband and wife. I think raising kids is the perfect example of the idea that “the days are long, but the years go really fast.” I thought the diaper years would never end!

Then came the empty nest years as the kids left home and began their journeys as adults. If couples can navigate the “kids at home” years well and stay connected and intentional in their relationship, this transition to the empty nest phase can go pretty smoothly. However, if a couple neglects their relationship while raising kids, this transition to the empty nest phase can be very trying.

When I think about the different phases we’ve been through there are 2 things that kept us married through each phase’s highs and lows:

God. Of course. Praying together, praying over our marriage, and asking God to sustain us kept us together. If you aren’t praying for your marriage and asking God to guide you, start today! He is the one who sustains everything. 

Continuing to think of us as a married couple and using “we” language. During those years of raising children it’s easy to start living separate lives. But even when we didn’t have much time for each other we both fought for the “we” language. We fought for it in our thought lives, our conversations with friends and family, and we fought for it in our calendars. We made sure we knew we were married and that we were a team, and we fought for time together.


Next Steps For You:

  • What phase are you currently in?

  • How is your marriage doing? 

  • What would make it better? 

  • What will you do today to make it better?

2 Minute Drill

When I interviewed Matt Hammitt, former lead singer for Sanctus Real, he talked about the process of becoming the man and leader that he imagined he could be. Don’t miss this one.  

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:  Paul McCartney

Nancy and I have seen Sir Paul McCartney live in concert twice. Both rank in the all time top five concerts that we have seen together. Paul was born in Liverpool, England on June 18, 1944. His honors include two inductions into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (as a member of the Beatles in 1988 and as a solo artist in 1999), an Academy Award, a Primetime Emmy Award, 18 Grammy Awards, an appointment as a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1965 and a knighthood in 1997 for services to music. As of 2020, he was one of the wealthiest musicians in the world, with an estimated fortune of £800 million.

  • “Music is like a psychiatrist. You can tell your guitar things that you can't tell people. And it will answer you with things people can't tell you.”

  • “What I have to say is all in the music. If I want to say anything, I write a song.”

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • On November 27, 2004, Garry Turner achieved the world record for having the most clothespins clipped to his face at one time. How many clothespins were on his face?

Did You Know?  

  • Three U.S. presidents—Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and Jimmy Carter—have won Grammys.

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather swim with sharks or run into a bear while hiking?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • 159 Clothespins

Kim KimberlingComment