The Thing Your Marriage Desperately Needs

Insights:

One of the biggest issues in marriages today is a lack of connection. When you don’t have enough relational stock built up, small issues can make for fatal blows to a marriage. 

Too often couples spend too much time mindlessly on a screen and not enough face-to-face connection with each other. I know you’re tired of hearing that we all spend too much time on our screens, but it’s true and I predict that unless we do something radical in our marriages now to change this - that we are going to see huge divorce implications because of this in the next 10 years. 

Your marriage needs mundane moments together. Your marriage needs space and boredom that leads to connection and meaningful moments. If you are going all the time and then spending all your downtime on a screen you are not going to connect with your spouse. And when you don’t connect with your spouse you aren’t building the stock you need to sustain your marriage for a lifetime. 

Here are 3 ways to build relational stock in your marriage:

  • Make memories. Relationships are built on memories. They cannot sustain without them. If you don’t have memories with each other- what do you have? You’re strangers. So you need to make a point to build memories together. Do this by having a weekly date night (phone free!), intentionally connecting for at least 30 minutes a day, and trying new things together. Play games, go on a walk, take mundane moments like when you are doing chores or running errands and spend them together - this is when life happens and memories are built. 

  • Talking about dreams, goals, and the future. Knowing a person’s heart and dreams helps build relational stock. Your spouse should know your craziest dreams and ambitions. Your spouse should know things about you no one else does. Ask good questions. Enjoy each other for all that you are. 

  • Eye contact. This is HUGE guys. You need to look at your spouse in the eyes when you are speaking to them. Look up and look at them when you are talking to them. There is so much science to back this up. So much happens in our brains when we make eye contact with another human being. Your brain and your spouse need that eye contact! You are missing so much of what your spouse is saying if you aren’t looking at them and you’re definitely missing out on building relational stock if you aren’t looking your spouse in the eyes. 

 Next Steps For You:

  • What can you do together to begin building healthy memories?

  • Set aside time to begin talking about dreams, goals, and your future together.

  • Practice eye contact until it is a habit!

2 Minute Drill

Marriage Without Porn with Matt Cline

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote: Jerry Mathers

Jerry Mathers “The Beaver'' was born on June 2, 1948 in Sioux City, Iowa. His first “role” was as a department store model at age 2. He is best known for his role as “The Beaver” on the Leave it To Beaver sitcom from 1957 to 1963. For fun, let’s use quotes from Jerry as he portrayed the younger son of Ward and June Cleaver.

Wally Cleaver: Did Dad hit ya?

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.

Wally Cleaver: Did he yell at ya?

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: No.

Wally Cleaver: Then why ya cryin'?

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: Sometimes things get so messed up, crying is the only thing you can do.

Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver: If I had my choice between a three pound bass and a girl, I'd take the three pound bass.

This Week’s Trivia Question: Snacks

  • What classic, salty snack tastes uber buttery but is surprisingly vegan?

Did You Know?  

  • Along with his reputation for being one of the nicest men in America, Fred Rogers was also well known for his signature zip-up cardigans sweaters. Did you know that his mom knit all of his sweaters?

Something To Talk About:

  • Would you rather have an unlimited supply of Chick-fil-A or Taco Bell?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • Ritz Crackers

Kim KimberlingComment