Stopping the Insanity
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Great Quotations:
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand
“If things seem under control, you are just not going fast enough.” – Mario Andretti
“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” – Denis Waitley
SuperHero Trivia:
Which original Avenger was not in the first few movies?
What was Superman’s birth name?
What is the name of Batman’s butler?
Aquaman is from which city under the sea?
Who is Green Lantern’s nemesis?
What does DC stand for?
“Our Biggest Marriage Mistakes”
Listen:
I talk a lot about “team” language. What does that mean, and why does it matter? How can we learn to speak it in our marriages? In this podcast, Lindsay and I talk about all things “team.”
Watch:
In this fourth vlog on health and marriage, I talk about how the food we eat affects us and our marriage. Let's look at balanced eating, knowing when it’s time to talk to your doctor and how to support each other in being healthy.
Read:
What combination was a key to success for Disney, McDonald’s, and Ford? It was the pairing of a Visionary with groundbreaking ideas and an Integrator that made those ideas reality. If it worked in these businesses, it can work in yours. When these two come together, sharing their natural talents and innate skill, it is like rocket fuel. From the author of the bestselling book Traction, Rocket Fuel lays out the roles of the Visionary and Integrator and explains how an effective relationship between the two can help a business thrive and reach new heights. This book is full of interesting ideas and assessments to help you determine if you are an Integrator or a Visionary. It’s an easy read with great information.
Insights:
I love writing. My mind is full of thoughts and ideas and writing helps me sort things out and get them organized. In 1996, when I wrote the content for a class to help couples prepare for marriage, there seemed to be seven principles that were essential to a successful marriage.
In 2015, those principles came together in my first book with a major publisher. The book is 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. It was a bestseller when it debuted on Amazon and continues to sell well. For the next few weeks, I want to go through those seven secrets with you. Wherever your marriage is today, I believe these secrets will take it to a whole new level.
Secret #1 is “Stop the Insanity”
If we define “insanity” as something we do over and over expecting different results, at some point, most of us can say, “That’s me!” For example, if I drive 10 miles per hour over the speed limit on the way to work each day, and expect not to get pulled over, but continue to get pulled over and have a stack of speeding tickets, that would qualify as an “insanity.”
Often in my marriage I have found that my “insanities” center around my expectations. For instance, I may have an expectation that Nancy is to keep the house clean, do all the laundry, and prepare dinner every night. Those are not “bad” expectations. But what if the reality is that Nancy has a full-time job and comes home in the evening just as tired as I do? What if I have never told her those expectations, and then get upset with her when she does not fulfill them?
Get the picture? My “insanity” is having unrealistic expectations and then holding Nancy to them, even though I never communicated them to her. Now play that out over a few days or weeks. Each night I get angry at her. Each night she is frustrated with me and cannot understand what is wrong. She begins to withdraw from me because I seem unfair and insensitive. As she withdraws, I come on stronger and my “insanity” is killing our marriage.
What about you and your marriage? Are there insanities? If so, here are two “next steps” that I would like for you to take.
First, take a look at your marriage. What are your expectations? Are they realistic? Have you shared them with your spouse? I want both of you to prayerfully make a list of your expectations, then share them with each other. Then decide together what is realistic and what is not.
Second, Paul lists out the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. What if my expectation in marriage was that together Nancy and I seek God’s help each day to build love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control into our marriage? Would that make a difference? Would that solve the insanities we bring into our marriage? Can you imagine what a “fruits of the Spirit” marriage would be like? If not, God can and He is there to help you build them into your marriage just as He would like them to be. Begin praying for God to build these into each of you and in your marriage.
Bottom Line: STOP the insanity.
Answer to SuperHero Trivia
The Wasp
Kal-El
Alfred
Atlantis
Sinestro
Detective Comics
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