How Does it Go When You Talk About Sex?
Insights:
What better month than February to talk about sex in marriage? That is what we will focus on in Insights during February.
When was the last time you and your spouse had a positive conversation about your sex life? If you are like most couples, you (1) have never had a positive conversation about sex or (2) cannot remember the last time you had that conversation. It seems that most couples' conversations about sex don’t go well and either end in an argument or frustration.
Sex is one of the really special gifts that we have in marriage. Learning to talk about sex together in a way that strengthens and enhances your sex life in your marriage is one of the best things that you can do for your marriage.
So where do you start?
First, frequency or quantity of sex. Most couples seem to bog down here. Getting on the same page with frequency is essential. It removes one of the biggest hurdles couples face when seeking a healthy sex life. How do you talk about frequency?
When you begin to talk about frequency, don’t start with what is a normal sex life - start with defining what is normal for you two. That is really the only thing that matters. Comparison can really get us in trouble here. Every couple is unique, therefore what works for them as far as frequency is unique to them and their lives together. Remember you are not setting your normal for the rest of your marriage - only for this season. Stick with this conversation until you reach a solution that works for both of you. Be willing to compromise. Once you agree, try it for a month and then talk about it again. Is it working for you? If not, what needs to change?
Think about it this way, if you stop fighting over frequency, what could that do for your sex life?
Our new Awesome Marriage Sex Course is coming to Awesome Marriage University soon! Watch for our announcement!
Questions For You To Think About:
When was the last time the two of you had a positive conversation about your sex life?
What barrier(s) get in the way of having these conversations?
What is your role in removing these barriers?
Are you ready to have that conversation together about frequency?
2 Minute Drill
Dr. Kim talks with Chris and Jamie Bailey of Expedition Marriage about emotional rationalization.
Quick Hits:
This Week’s Quote: Charles Barkley was born on February 20,1963. As a high school junior, Charles was 5 ft 10 inches and did not make the varsity team. As a senior he was 6 ft 4 in and led his team to the state semifinals, where he scored 26 points against Alabama’s most recruited high school player. An Auburn assistant coach was at the game and reported back to head coach Sonny Smith about "a fat guy... who can play like the wind." Barkley attended Auburn University playing basketball and majoring in business management.
“I am not a role model…Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”
“I don’t hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.”
This Week’s Trivia Question: How many dimples does an average golf ball have?
This Week’s Did You Know: Bubble wrap was originally invented as wallpaper. In 1957, Al Fielding and Swiss inventor Marc Chavannes invented bubble wrap while trying to create a textured wallpaper by sealing two shower curtains together to trap air bubbles.
Something To Talk About! Would you rather be an extra in an Oscar-winning movie or the lead in a box office bomb?
Awesome Marriage This week
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My good friend Dr. David Clarke joins me again as we talk about codependency in marriage.
AM YouTube Channel: ”3 Steps to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage”
Trust issues can destroy a marriage. In this video we look at three things to do to build trust again.
AM YouVersion Plan: Lust vs Sexual Desire
In this three day plan, we look at the difference between lust and selfish desire and how to go from chains of lust to the freedom of sexual desire in your marriage.
This Week’s Trivia Answer:
336