More of The Worst Marriage Advice Ever

Insights:

The Absolute Worst Marriage Advice Ever - Part 2

No matter how well meaning people can be, a lot of bad marriage advice gets passed on. Last week we looked at four of the worst. (Catch up by looking at last week’s Dispatch). Let’s look at four more this week. 

Your spouse will “complete” you.

I really liked the movie Jerry Maguire but I can hardly watch it now because I know that line is coming: “You complete me.” God created each of us in a unique way. He is the one who completes us. Depending on someone else to do God’s job sets us and our marriage up for failure. I’m sorry if I ruined this romantic movie moment for you. But really, Nancy cannot complete me. God does and Nancy is the icing on the cake. Think about that one for a while.

Marriage should make you happy.

Am I happy in my marriage? Yes. Is it Nancy’s job to make me happy? No. That puts the responsibility for my emotions on her and there is no way she can control my emotions. That is my responsibility, and for me is a direct correlation to where I am in my relationship with God. The apostle Paul puts it best when he says that he is always content no matter what is going on around him. His contentment came from God. Same is true for us. And with contentment, happiness often comes along too. 

Thinking more of your spouse and kids than of yourself is a sign that you are a loving person.

In the book of Mark, Jesus says the second greatest commandment is to, “love our neighbor as ourselves.” In our culture that is translated as putting spouse, kids, etc above ourselves. It seems like the servant-hearted thing to do, but that is not what Jesus is saying. He says we have to love ourselves. If I do not love myself, I cannot love others like God wants me to. There will be too much of my junk getting in the way. It’s not about being selfish, but rather it’s taking care of my mental, physical and spiritual health. Then I can love others, especially Nancy, as God wants me to.

Spouses will naturally grow closer as time goes by

I want this to be true. If just the passage of time drew us closer together, all couples would be completely knit as one after so many years. I just do not see this happening. Spouses grow closer because they are intentional about growing their marriage, they communicate well, they consistently resolve their conflicts, they keep their sex life healthy, and they put God at the center of their marriage. Marriage was never meant to be a sprint. It is a marathon and there are a lot of obstacles along the way. It is a team race. It’s navigating the obstacles together. It’s always keeping our focus on the goal of an awesome marriage.


Next Steps:

  • Of the four pieces of “worst marriage advice ever” listed in today’s Insights, which one(s) have you believed?

  • Which one(s) will you begin working on together?

Nancy joined me for our monthly Marriage Changer video to talk about “How to be a Team in Hard Times” 

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:  

 Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks was born on February 4, 1913. She was an American activist in the civil rights movement best known for her pivotal role in the Montgomery bus boycott. The United States Congress honored her as "the first lady of Civil Rights" and "the mother of the freedom movement."

  • I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.

  • I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free... so other people would be also free.

This Week’s Trivia Question: 

  • We haven’t done an animal trivia question in a while so, “What is the only mammal born with horns?”

Did You Know:    

  • If all the Lego mini-figures came to life, they would comprise the largest population on Earth. That would even be greater than China, which has the largest human population in the world!

Something to Talk About:

  • If you could plan one perfect day for you and your spouse, what would it look like?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  •  A giraffe is the only mammal born with horns!

Kim KimberlingComment