Some of the Worst Marriage Advice I've Heard...

Insights:

The Absolute Worst Marriage Advice Ever - Part 1

There are a lot of well meaning people in the world. From day one of our marriage, we had many of them in our lives. We found that those well meaning people often had well meaning advice and yet, some gave advice that was absolutely the worst marriage advice ever. 

This week and next week let’s look at some of their advice and how buying into it affects us and our marriage.

Marriage is easy when you find “the one.”

Are you kidding me? I have never doubted that Nancy was “the one” for me. Has our marriage been easy because of that? No! If we had bought into that advice, our marriage would have lasted six months or less. We would have felt hopeless because we did not marry “the one.” How about instead: Marriage is hard, but going through it together grows us and our marriage, which makes it worth all the effort.

Don’t argue, because conflict is a sign of a bad marriage.

If this were true, it would mean Nancy and I have a horrible marriage. The real truth is that Nancy and I are different. You and your spouse are different. Differences cause conflict. The key in marriage is embracing the differences and working through the conflicts so your marriage wins. Conflict itself is neither good nor bad. The key in marriage is how we handle that conflict.  

Never go to bed angry.

I’m not sure how long I can go without sleep but if we had heeded this advice, we would have had many sleepless nights. Let’s look at it another way: If there is a conflict in our marriage, we try to resolve it as soon as possible, but if we cannot then we commit to each other to work on it again the next day, then we make sure that we do. Plus, Nancy and I are both better at resolving issues when we are well rested.  

In a good marriage, romance and passion will always be alive.

In your marriage, you will not always be on the mountaintop. You will not always experience the romance and passion that you desire in your marriage. You both are human, so your emotions will come and go. When you base everything in marriage on our feelings and emotions, you leave out a big marriage essential: “commitment.” Commitment to each other, to God and to the vows that you took together. When you are committed, you can weather the ups and downs of marriage. That commitment will keep you connected, and connection will in turn spark romance and passion.


Next Steps:

  • Of the four pieces of “worst marriage advice ever” in today’s Insights, which ones have you bought into?

  • Which one(s) will you begin working on together?

I enjoyed interviewing Don and Suzanne Manning, and they shared some great tips on how to talk with your child.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:  

 Wayne Gretzky

Wayne Douglas Gretzky was born on January 26, 1961, in Brantford, Ontario. He is a former Canadian professional ice hockey player and former head coach. He played 20 seasons in the National Hockey League. Nicknamed "the Great One," he has been called the greatest ice hockey player ever by many sportswriters.

  • You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

  • My kids are no different than anyone else's - they tend to disagree with everything I say!

  • I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.

This Week’s Trivia Question: 

  • Johnny Depp notably modeled Jack Sparrow, his memorable character from "Pirates of the Caribbean," after which rock guitarist?

Did You Know:    

  • All the world’s bacteria stacked on top of each other would stretch for 10 billion light-years. Together, Earth's 0.001mm-long microbes could wrap around the Milky Way over 20,000 times.

Something to Talk About:

  • What are your 5 core values?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  •  Keith Richards    

Kim KimberlingComment