Are You Having Fun In Your Marriage?

Insights:

When was the last time you and your spouse had fun together? 

Having fun together is vital to the connection in your marriage. It’s a must in your marriage, no matter what season you’re in. If you are not having fun in your marriage, here are three tips to get you on the right track:

1. Check your heart. Sometimes the reason we aren’t having fun is because our heart is hard, we are dealing with internal bitterness, or other internal issues that are keeping us from being able to have fun. It’s very possible that you could have fun if you just position your heart in the right place. You might be missing opportunities for fun because you're grumpy and unconsciously saying “no” to fun. 

I’m not talking about depression, that’s a different story, I’m talking about when you are focusing too much on the negative and dealing with grumpy feelings that you can shake if you shift your heart and position yourself to have fun again. Check your heart and make sure you aren’t getting in your own way of having fun in your marriage. 


2. Celebrate the small stuff. I read that it takes three or four positive life occurrences to offset every negative. Which means we need to look for opportunities to celebrate the good things of life as much as possible. When times are difficult, Nancy and I try to make sure we remember the blessings in our life. We count our blessings and name them out loud. But you can’t just name your blessings - you need to mark moments with tangible celebrations. 

Make it a habit to celebrate together. Celebrate the small things. A great week. A good conversation you had with your child. Any and everything good that happens at work. That you communicated well. Celebrate when you solve problems together. When you make decisions together. Celebrating the small stuff often will help highlight your blessings and make your marriage so much more fun. 

3. Ask your friends! Ask other married couples what they do together for fun. You might find some great new ideas! Don’t be afraid to try new things together. You won’t know if you like it until you try it. It’s okay to ask for help and to get ideas from other couples, your marriage will be stronger for it. 

Next Steps:

  • What are you dealing with, or not dealing with, that could be affecting the fun in your marriage?

  • Will you commit to resolve those issues with each other?

  • As you begin having fun together again, don’t forget to celebrate the small stuff!

2 Minute Clip

I really enjoyed my recent conversation with Dr. Juli Slattery about some common pain points and tensions with intimacy.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote: Johnny Carson

John William Carson was born on October 23 in Corning, Iowa. He served in the Navy in World War II. He was a comedian, writer and producer and was the host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson for thirty years winning six Primetime Emmy Awards.

  • I am one of the lucky people in the world: I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

  • Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are you ready?'

This Week’s Trivia Question:

  • On October 1, 1962, Johnny Carson hosted his first Tonight Show. Who was his very first guest?

Did You Know?  

  • The U.S. treasury once printed $100,000 bills. Between December 18, 1934, and January 9, 1935, the bills with Woodrow Wilson’s face were issued to Federal Reserve Banks but never went out to the general public. Which was probably a good idea.  Can you imagine losing one of them?

Something To Talk About Together:

  • If there’s one thing that you could instantly and permanently change in your marriage, what would it be?

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • Johnny Carson’s first Tonight Show guest was Groucho Marx.

Kim KimberlingComment