Fighting to Recover Your Marriage
Insights:
As we approach the end of the third year of COVID, I think we are really seeing some of the fallout. None of us had ever lived through a pandemic before. We didn’t have anyone older to give us advice on navigating lockdowns, masks, working from home, school at home and all the other things we endured, including fighting strangers for a pack of toilet paper.
What about marriage? How have marriages been affected? Let’s take a look at post-COVID era marriage.
Many couples could not get on the same page with a game plan for COVID. One thought they should wear masks while the other was adamantly against them. The same was true with getting vaccinated, going in public or any other issue where there were opposing opinions.
Many couples never figured out how to divide duties at home. One or both had to work from home and many of them were also taking on the role of being their child’s teacher. I had so many people tell me they felt very ill equipped for that role and many said it was worse because the support from their schools was minimal at best.
Some spouses discovered things that their spouse was hiding from them. Things like porn, an emotional affair, or a physical affair. Then they had no way of dealing with it.
Psychologist Dr. Marni Feuerman said, “"The pandemic has caused stress for everybody. There's a collective trauma, but couples that were strong beforehand are even stronger. They already knew how to use their relationship as a resource at a time of stress. The couples who have been worst affected are those where there were problems before this started." I think she is spot on. I would add that many of the struggling couples have jumped to divorce. Many of those who would have fought for their marriage in the past just gave up. Divorce has become an even more “normal” part of our lives.
My point this week is if you are struggling in your marriage today, the stresses of the COVID-era and how it affected you and your spouse could be a factor. Divorce is not the answer. The answer is fighting for your marriage and doing everything both of you can do to individually be healthy and then for your marriage to be healthy.
Questions For You To Think About:
On a one to ten scale, how do you rate your marriage post COVID-era?
Where do you want your marriage to be today?
What can you do to improve your marriage?
2 Minute Drill
Affair Proof Your Marriage
Quick Hits:
This Week’s Quote: J.R.R. Tolkien was born on January 3, 1892 in Bloemfontein in the Orange Free State (now the Free State Province) in the Republic of South Africa. He met Edith Mary Bratt at the age of 16, and she later became his wife. He was a writer and a philologist.The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings are two of his most famous books. Tolkien, a devout Roman Cathoilic, was a significant factor in C.S. Lewis’s conversion from atheism to Christianity. He is often referred to as the “father of modern fantasy literature.”
“Not all those who wander are lost.”
“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
This Week’s Trivia Question: What is measured in "mickeys?
This Week’s Did You Know: Here are a couple for winter:
Your fingernails grow faster when you are cold.
A typical cough is 60 mph while a sneeze is often faster than 100 mph.
Something To Talk About! Would you rather have chicken noodle soup or Nyquil when you don’t feel good?
Awesome Marriage This week
AM Podcast: Winter Break
While the Awesome Marriage Podcast is still on winter break, here’s a great episode to listen to. Check out the encouraging conversation I got to have with Matt Hammit about becoming the leader your family needs in Finding the Courage to Lead with Special Guest Matt Hammitt | Ep. 524.
AM YouTube Channel: What are Touch Points?
Touch points to connect with our spouse are all around us every day. Let’s talk about where you can find them.
AM YouVersion Plan: Redefining Love
What is God’s definition of love? In this seven day plan we will process that question and help you apply that to your life and marriage.
This Week’s Trivia Answer:
The speed of a computer mouse!