A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 5
This Week’s Quick Hits:
Did you know?
You can sneeze faster than a cheetah can run. Clocking in at 100 mph, we can sneeze faster than cheetahs run, four-and-a-half times faster than Usain Bolt's record, and 20 times faster than Michael Phelps. (Unfortunately, we also expel about 100,000 germs when we sneeze.)
A Great Quote:
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose." -Dr. Seuss
Podcast:
Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast
Carey is a longtime friend and I love this podcast. His teaching and innovative ideas about leadership are so good. On the show, he has great, interesting guests such as David Allen and Louie Giglio. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Today the link is to one of my favorite interviews. Erin Meyer digs into the Netflix culture.
Listen:
Wives Edition: Speaking Life Episode 486 on the Awesome Marriage Podcast
I cannot wait to hear this podcast. Christina and our podcast producer Lindsay Few bring us this special Wives Edition episode. I have waited to listen to it first with you as it drops today! It follows my interview with my friend Jeff Bethke that premiered on Tuesday.
Watch:
5 Things To Do To Fight Fair: Apologize
For many of us this is a tough thing to do in our marriage. Join me in this new vlog as I unpack this issue.
Read:
I Still Believe YouVersion Plan
In this plan I use clips from the film, I Still Believe, telling the story of Christian Music star Russ Taff. At the height of his career, alcohol took center stage and Russ began a downward spiral. On the brink of losing everything including his marriage, God does a miraculous work of restoration. If you like this plan, listen to the podcast interview I did with Russ.
Insights:
A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 5 - More on Frequency
Last week we talked about defining “normal” for sex in your marriage considering the season you are in. The main point I wanted to make sure you heard was that the question is not what is normal, rather it is what is normal for the two of you. If you missed last week, go back and read it now. It’s the prequel to this week.
Okay, now hopefully you have talked about and agree on frequency - your normal. The next question is, “How do you make normal happen?” When? Where? What are your obstacles? Should it be spontaneous or scheduled? If Nancy and I decided that for the season we are were in that sex twice a week was to be our normal, then we need to talk about when or where or a week may pass and no sex. Which could be frustrating for both of us. Especially after all the work we put in getting to this point.
For example, if we decide on two times a week, does that mean once during the week and once on the weekend? Or both times on the weekend? Or some other plan. Is it all to be spontaneous, or do we need to do some planning?
Many of us cringe at the idea of scheduling because sex in our mind is supposed to be spontaneous. We were there at one point in our marriage but we decided if scheduling helps, why not schedule it. If you decide on two times a week, does that limit you to two times a week? No. Two is your normal frequency but if the two of you agree on more. Go for it. If one of you is sick, do you still have your 2 times a week? Maybe not. There are always exceptions. Just don’t let the exceptions become a new normal.
The whole purpose of talking about frequency is to help you get into a rhythm with your sex life that you both enjoy and that draws you closer to each other and grows your love. It is all part of building your Awesome Marriage.
Try it this week:
After defining your normal for this season of your marriage, discuss how you will make your ”normal” happen.
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