A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 6
This Week’s Quick Hit: Random Movie Trivia
In Black Panther, T'Challa, Okoye, and Nakia travel to which country in search of vibranium being sold on the black market?
Japan
Brazil
South Korea
England
In Forrest Gump, which Oscar-winning actor played Forrest's mom?
Sally Field
Jane Fonda
Meryl Streep
Diane Keaton
What's the name of the villainous teddy bear in Toy Story 3?
Hugs-A-Lot
Paddy
Lotso
Fitz-O
Streaming:
Beyond 2000 by Jeff Scott Wood
Jeff is a long time friend and an ASCAP & BMI Award-Winning songwriter and recording artist, having composed songs for many of Nashville’s top stars. He also had three top-forty hits as an artist himself. This new album is amazing. Jeff always writes and sings from his heart. I think you'll really like this!
Listen:
As Christina and I take a two-week podcast break, we open the vault and bring you a podcast that is definitely worth repeating. Expectations and misunderstanding them is a main source of most conflict in most marriages. We are excited to share some tips from our friends at Emotionally Healthy Leader that we think will help you better understand healthy expectations and implement in your marriage.
Watch:
5 Things To Do To Fight Fair: Always Have An Eye On Tomorrow
In this final video in the series, we look at how to have an eye on tomorrow. When we do this, it helps us live a better life and be a better spouse today. It keeps us from dwelling on the past. It is an important part of fighting fair.
Read:
Getting Things Done by David Allen
In this newer edition of the book, David Allen shares his play for getting things done or “GTD.” The program is designed to help you do the things you have to do with less time, energy, and effort so you can do more of the things you want to do. It takes every task and reminder out of your head and into an external system of lists and files so all your mental energy goes to the task at hand. You’ll identify the next action step for every item on your to-do list so that when you have time available you don’t have to think—just do. By gaining command of your day-to-day obligations, you’ll create more time and energy to work toward your long-term goals. I am implementing so much of what I learned in this book into my life and it is already making a big difference.
Insights:
A Lifetime of Awesome Sex in Marriage Pt. 6 - Quantity to Quality
Let’s switch our focus this week from quantity to quality. How do you define quality sex? One caution - be careful here not to create a box you cannot get out of. Before you talk about this together, let’s look at a few things.
First, how would you define quality? My definition: Quality means that we both enjoy the experience. Let me say that again. Quality means that we both enjoy the experience. The key here is the word “enjoy.” Does it mean that we both have an orgasm every time? Not necessarily. If we define successful sex only by reaching orgasm, I think we run the risk of missing out on some great sexual experiences.
But let’s talk about this. My experience as a husband and a marriage counselor is that if one doesn’t have an orgasm, it’s usually the woman. Now, does not having an orgasm mean the sex is bad? I think too many people think it does, and I think that puts their sex life in a box. Even if a woman doesn’t have an orgasm every time, it does not mean that she does not enjoy the experience: it still feels good; she may love the closeness; she loves the attention and intimacy.
As guys, we want to please our wife but guys you have not failed if your wife does not have an orgasm. So listen up: The orgasm is not the gauge. Don’t miss the experience because you bought into that idea. Communicate. What is quality for her? Ask her. If orgasm is important to your spouse each time, then work on that together. Ask her what she needs you to do. What helps her? Work on her having an orgasm first. But if she says it’s okay if she does not have an orgasm every time, it is okay. You have not failed.
Try it this week:
A Next Step
What does it mean to you as a couple for both of you to enjoy the sexual experience? Talk about that together.
Random Movie Trivia Answers
1. South Korea
2. Sally Field
3. Lotso
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