White Flags Part 3: Selfishness
This Week’s Quick Hits:
How many of these “Winter Trivia” questions can you answer?
What is the total number of sides on all snowflakes?
Winter Festival of Lights takes place in which country during winter?
A black bear’s pulse can drop to how many beats during winter?
In the 1968 historical period drama The Lion in Winter, which James Bond actor made his cinematic debut?
How many snow particles fall from the sky every winter?
Jennie Lusko joins me to talk about flourishing - even when we feel like we are failing.
Read:
My goal each year is to read a book a week. For 2021 I fell a little short at 48. From the reviews I do, you probably have figured out I read a wide variety of books. I have divided them into these categories: Fiction, Nonfiction, History, Biography, Sports, Relationship, Book That Made Me Look at Things Differently, Leadership, Health, Doing Things Better, and Best Overall.
Here are my 2021 Winners:
Best Fiction Book: The Atlee Pine Series by David Baldacci. Atlee Pine is an FBI agent who encounters exciting cases working in the Southwest. Her search for her twin sister, who was kidnapped when they were six, is the thread that runs through the entire series.
Best Nonfiction Book: The Future is Faster Than You Think by Peter Diamendis and Steven Kofler
Best History Book: The Bomber Mafia by Malcolm Gladwell
Best Biography: The Boys by Ron and Clint Howard
Best Sports Book: The Dynasty by Jeff Benedict (The story of Robert Kraft and the New England Patriots)
Best Relationship Book: Relationship Goals by Michael Todd
Best Book That Made Me Look at Things Differently: At Your Best by Carey Nieuwhof
Best Leadership Book: Multipliers by Liz Wiseman
Best Health Book: Keep Sharp by Sanjay Gupta, MD
Best Book on Doing Things Better: Make Your Bed by William H. McRaven
Best Overall Book: Spiritual Intelligence: The Art of Thinking Like God by Kris Vallotton and Karen Garnass, MD
Listen:
The Awesome Marriage Podcast is still on vacation. Look for the first episode of 2022 to drop on January 18, 2022.
Watch:
Is there balance between your kids and your marriage? Is there something that needs to change? Let’s dig deeper into this in this week’s Awesome Marriage YouTube Channel Vlog.
Insights:
Selfishness and The White Flag
After the last two Holiday Editions of the Dispatch, let’s get back to “White Flags.” Chris Tomlin and Passion recorded the song “White Flag'' in 2012. It is one of my all time favorite songs. Why? In my marriage and in the marriages of many people that I talk to, the answer to many, if not all of our problems and issues, is to surrender to God. Today let’s talk about selfishness.
Do you remember the first time you were selfish? Probably not. I tend to remember the things that cast a better light on me than my selfishness.
I remember seeing selfishness for the first time in my children. I was amazed when this perfect little child that had been so sweet and innocent grabbed something from another child with force and said “mine!” Wow. I remember thinking, “where did that come from? They never saw me grab something away from Nancy.”
It was then that I began to understand my own sin nature at a much deeper level. I am basically selfish and unless I let God change me, I can be a wrecking ball in relationships.
I never thought I would be selfish in my marriage. It was not like I plotted selfish acts against Nancy. It just happened. I was selfish. My needs, wants and desires came before her. I was number one and she was number two, or three, or ten. I guess I thought I could just steamroll over her, but I forgot she was also a Type A personality. She was not one to be steamrolled easily, if at all. There were conflicts, and fights, and hurtful things said. Being selfish in my marriage was not working.
This one was all about me. It was hard to blame it on Nancy. The bottom line was that I was selfish and if my marriage was going to work that had to change. As I listened to the lyrics of “White Flags” I could not get these words out of my head:
We cannot win this fight Inside our rebel hearts.
That’s it, isn’t it? I have to surrender my selfishness to God. I have to believe that His plan for me and my marriage is better than anything I could ever orchestrate on my own. He will not change anything in me or Nancy that is not good for us individually and in our marriage together. It is surrender time again. I lay down my selfishness at the feet of God and let Him make me new. I raise the “white flag” and Love has truly won.
A Next Step:
What are the selfish areas of your life?
What do you need to lay at God’s feet in surrender?
Winter Trivia Answers:
Six
Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
8 beats per minute (40 plus in the summer)
Timothy Dalton
At least one septillion (one followed by 24 zeros)
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