Do You Stop When You Need To?

Insights:

Stop - A Sign for Your Marriage

We pass them every day. Sometimes we read them and sometimes we do not. Sometimes we obey them and sometimes we do not. Traffic signs are everywhere. They are there to protect us, to guide us, to warn us, and to bring order. We want every other driver on the roads and highways to abide by them. 

Yet, we on the other hand, want a little flexibility with these signs when it comes to ourselves. If I am in a hurry, I really do not have time to come to a full stop at the STOP sign. If there are no other cars in my line of vision, why do I need to slow down at the YIELD sign? What about the CAUTION sign? After all, I have been driving for a number of years, I do not need a sign to tell me to be cautious. 

Traffic signs are everywhere. I just do not want them to get in my way.

What if there were these same signs in your marriage? Would you read them, obey them, or ignore them? If these were there, would you want your spouse to follow them to the letter?  What about you? Follow or ignore?

Let’s look at the stop sign. It is pretty cut and dry. Stop means stop, and if you don’t, you could get a ticket or you could get smashed by another car. The STOP sign is non-negotiable. If you are taking the driving test to get your driver’s license and you fail to stop at the STOP sign, you fail the driver’s test. Stopping when told to do so is essential. There is no argument. There are no second chances.

There are STOP signs in marriage, and they mean the same thing in marriage as they do on the streets: STOP. When you are angry at your spouse, don’t say or do something that could be devastating for your marriage - STOP. When you are on your mobile device and you are tempted to click on that popup - STOP.  In fact, any time you are close to crossing a line that could or would harm your marriage - STOP.  

The bottom line is to STOP. Do not go there. No trial runs. No baby steps. Not “just this once.” STOP. Make it an absolute. Do not cross the line. The sign says STOP and that is exactly what you must do. Anytime we run a “marriage stop sign,” there are consequences that we could have avoided altogether. 

When we STOP, things are different. There are no consequences for STOP. STOP says I love you and I don’t want to hurt you or our marriage. STOP connects us and allows our marriage to grow.

Next Steps:

  • What are the STOP signs in your life and marriage that you sometimes ignore?

  • What would  be different if instead you stopped?

I loved this idea Dr. Juli Slattery shared about what intimacy in marriage requires.

Quick Hits

This Week’s Quote:  

Neil Diamond

Neil Diamond was born on January 24, 1941 in Brooklyn. He has sold over 139 million records and has had 10 Number One Singles. Neil attended Erasmus Hall High School in Brooklyn, and was a member of the Freshman Chorus and Choral Club, along with classmate Barbra Streisand.

  • It's very difficult for me to say 'I love you' but to sing 'I love you' for me is easier.

  • When you're on a merry-go-round, you miss a lot of the scenery.

This Week’s Trivia Question: 

  • What color is an airplane's black box?

Did You Know:    

  • Antarctica is covered in a sheet of ice that's 7,000 feet thick. That's about 19 football fields. The U.S. Antarctic Program also notes that if the ice sheet ever suddenly melted, it would raise the sea level worldwide an estimated 200 feet and submerge much of the Gulf and Atlantic coastal areas of the U.S.

Something to Talk About:

  • If you were on a month-long trip, would you rather visit many different countries for only a few days each or spend the entire month in one place and get to know that country more in-depth? 

Awesome Marriage This week

This Week’s Trivia Answer:

  • An airplane's black box is actually orange! 

Kim KimberlingComment