White Flags: Part 2
This Week’s Quick Hits:
How Much Christmas Trivia Do You Know?
Test your knowledge. If you get eight out of ten correct, you are a Christmas Trivia Genius!
What ad campaign popularized Santa’s red suit?
What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time?
What is the most recorded Christmas song?
What is the best-selling Christmas song?
What does the word “noel” mean in its original language?
How many ghosts appear in A Christmas Carol?
What do people traditionally place at the top of Christmas trees?
How many characters did Tom Hanks play in The Polar Express (2004)?
What characters symbolizing Christmas or winter appear in the main cast of Rise of the Guardians (2012)?
What are the three traditional colors of Christmas?
Read:
“Esther”
This is a fascinating book. After his wife Vashti refuses to obey him, Persian King Ahasuerus seeks a new wife. Esther is chosen to be the new queen because of her beauty. The story of betrayal, courage, and strength begins. This book reads like a novel but is the true account of how God used the beautiful Esther to accomplish His purposes. You can find Esther tucked between the book of Nehemiah and the book of Job in the Bible.
Listen:
“Deepening Your Spiritual Intimacy”
We don’t talk about it a lot, but spiritual intimacy with your spouse in your marriage is exactly what God wants for you. In this episode, we will talk about ways to help make that happen.
Watch:
We all face pressures every day. We can feel pressure at work and pressure at home.
The advantage in marriage is that we have a teammate as we face these pressures and when we also put God first, it is amazing how different we can look at pressures. Join me on the Awesome Marriage Youtube Channel this week as I look at this issue.
Insights:
White Flags: Part 2
Chris Tomlin and Passion recorded “White Flags.” This is the second “Insights” based on that song.
When I married Nancy, I had expectations. Some of them I knew and some were hidden and I had no idea how they would play out in my marriage. I did know that I wanted a faithful wife, a best friend, a partner in life, someone to have fun with, a great lover, and companion in hard times. Those were important to me then and are still important. I think most of those were also important to Nancy and for the most part, we have done a pretty good job of meeting them.
Then there are the other expectations. Some of these, if I was totally honest with myself, I was aware of, but I had never verbalized them. Here is one that had all kinds of implications: Nancy should meet all my needs. As I just said those words my thoughts were, “Are you kidding?” Unfortunately, the answer was “no.” So I would get mad when she did not want to do what I wanted to do, or go to dinner where I wanted to go, or have sex every time I wanted to have sex, or be in a good mood all the time. You get the idea. To say these expectations caused problems in our marriage would be a gross understatement because they almost derailed it.
There were other expectations, like expecting her to cook like my mom and take care of me when I was sick like my mom did. I could literally go on and on. Finally, I came to a crossroads. I had a choice to make. I could keep pushing my agenda as I kept pushing her farther and farther away or I could surrender. I could raise my “white flag” and lay down all my expectations before God or I could get used to living my life without Nancy.
I chose to lay them down and here is what God taught me. He is the one that will meet my needs and Nancy is an added blessing in my life. I was expecting her to meet needs she was never designed to meet. I was trying to give her God’s job. When I began to filter my expectations through God, there was an incredible difference. They became realistic and fit within His plan for me and my marriage. Sure, there are times when an unrealistic expectation pops up again, but I am learning to lay those down quickly and again raise the “white flag” as I surrender all to Him.
Try it this week:
A Next Step:
Think about the expectations that you have for your spouse? Are they realistic? Have you let God filter them? What do you need to lay down as you raise your ‘white flag’?
December Trivia Answers
Coca-Cola’s 1931 ad campaign, as drawn by Haddon Sundblom.
Home Alone (1990).
“Silent Night.”
“White Christmas” by Bing Crosby.
Nöel” means “birthday” or “relating to birth” in French.
Four ghosts.
An angel ornament.
Six roles.
Jack Frost and St. Nicholas.
Red, green, and gold.
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